Since this month I am speaking about esteem… and where it comes from and how it’s developed, I wanted to share my story on how I personally developed my confidence and esteem .
It’s a story of several weaved into one, but they all have deep meaning. My story doesn’t begin here.. but I wanted to share this belief with you , because this young student from South Africa spoke to my heart and through my heart into something i have always believed. She was the essence of my dream, articulated. And this was when I rose to the occasion and began ‘activating’ my journey.
It was in May of 2003 and this room of young people had been gathered together to be encouraged. I was not surprised, but then I was. They were here to hear a woman from America speak about following their dreams. Why? because young people in South Africa, particularly in Kuma, South Africa – in this case, had been discouraged. Suicide was rampant, across the land – and they needed a voice of encouragement. And God sent me.
I had known I was up for the challenge, indeed
It had taken six months to get here. And I knew I was coming, but I had to be prepared. So six months prior God began to establish His message in me. It was a lot of quiet time spent with Him to hear what He wanted me to say. I decided during this time , that if God was going to send me to South Africa, I must have had something mighty important to say.
Standing before that room and listening to this young lady, I had heard this before. I had heard this in my Bible, in my teacher’s rooms, and I heard the same voice of encouragement in mother’s voice, my mentors and auntie’s voices that were encouraging me on. You see, what she saw, I saw because those gone before me had manifested that belief in me. I knew the strength she knew was in her people; she had believed was there all along.
And so, my confidence has come through the walking of other’s shoes. The stride of their pride, and the risks they have taken to make the messages they believed in made clear. Without those risks – they would not be where they were. I told them the risk I took in leaving everything in America behind. I did not believe I could make it to S. Africa, and yet here I was , standing in a room before them, encouraging their hearts – Because God chose me.
I told them how I was chosen , the opposition I came up against, and how I still made it to speak to them. It took loads of faith. Not just mine… but others. Then I turned the page, and told them I came on the backs of my ancestors. And I knew I had to get to Africa because it was home. Home of my identity. And I told them how privileged they were to be in touch with the honor of being home. And living “at home”. they were the dream I had set out to be. The dream of knowing and believing I had to return to my ancestors place of residence, and “be that Queen.”
The queen that spoke largely to my destiny and my significance, and the queen that I studied about – and who had lived here in Africa, long before them.
Yes, they were surprised they were my inspiration.
But my inspiration had a long and lengthy legacy of hope and faith.
Selah.
