My Journal (& Processing Life)…

I guess I’m back to journaling .. and sharing my heart with you all here…☺️

It’s really a wonderful season I’m in, so I wanted to share here some of those blessings and the mindset God gives me as I make shifts and transitions .

Ever felt like you had to go back to the place you were from to heal some of the things in life that you never really addressed fully? I think that’s why I’m back home after almost 27 years of being away.

Although a bit daunting, it also been a breather .. a releasing of sorts… an enlivened moment of peace, joy and security as I find my niche in anew city and try to reclaim my roots and my personhood.

‘Settled’ was one of my words for 2020, as I entered a new year, and the word “Rooted” showed up as I sought out the word. I am planning on being Rooted.. Or expecting on being rooted, I should say.. looking for roots and foundation in a way I never have… asking .. seeking.. finding… they are all good as the revelations flow and this discovery finds ME.

Selah.

It’s going on my seventh month as a New Yorker again, and I’m quite delighted to be in a place of “Sincere Growth.” I’ve been planted in a great church that is concerned about my growth spiritually, and my purpose. It feels good. I love the smallness of it, and the people seem focused and ready to do exploits in God.

The pastor who spoke today spoke on getting ‘ planted ‘ and being with your tribe . I remember when I was in South Africa; although I didn’t know the people, it get so good to fool them for three mins of even, as I responded the South African language : when they said: Dumela Akai?“ (“How are you”? ) & if said firmly and loudly in response: “Kite!” ( pr.Keetay” ) -which means (Fine!)☺️💜It was as I was South African, they thought I was one of them. It was wonderful. And they were so kind to welcome me home.

‘Welcome home’ is such a blessing, they offer, when they welcome you back to the Motherland it does feel like home. Unexplainably, a place that’s foreign , could feel so familiar… And boy…was I welcomed! from the food to the parties, to the youth rallies, to eating the food, walking through flea markets, enjoying church services, having youth run up to me and hug me, and even in visiting foster homes as a social worker & speaking to youth about their dreams in schools.

As I contemplate on this journey, I also feel welcomed by God in N.Y. I feel His presence as being affirming, Loving, kind, as as I feel a shift in the familiarity, I feel “Welcomed.” By Him. He loves me.

And in this welcomed space is Healing. I’m just expecting it to be a part of the territory. I am.

Don’t be surprised what I share later this year as I become.

Watch out Rochester! I got something for ya!☺️👍🏾💜

Mountains… or Hills?

I am in Dansville, New York today. Just left a really pensive session about family, & what it means to me. I admired the atmosphere; being surrounded by mountains on each side. I kept taking in the views, and exclaiming how beautiful the mountains were, and one of the residents of the community said to me: “Oh those aren’t mountains, they’re hills.”

I smiled and said to myself…”They’re mountains to me.” You see, whether they are mountains or hills depends on the person. The power mountains give us – and the power the hills give us – they may be the same … or not .

I recall a time enduring a very difficult season and it was like my drives in my car during this season of my life were instructing me. I was traveling through a small town and there was this particular part of town where I noticed once – that the mountains had reduced in size!

I wondered to myself : “How did that happen!?” And I realized internally, my perspective had shifted.

Just like that.

Sometimes the life seasons we endure cause us to shift and change (snap!) just like that.

Driving those those small towns I had being enduring a really hard season in my life. And the trees and the mountains were so meaningful. They reminded me of how powerless I am, in comparison to the beauty of this world, and God’s power. God was teaching me. Informing me of my perspective. Stretching me…molding me… shaping me and causing me to shift.

I love mountains and I love hills.

The point is, no matter whether they are mountains or hills, they still encourage me. They still inspire my soul. They still make me think about the wonder of this world and how small I am in it,.. and sometimes my perspective, too.

Thank God for shifts.❤️

Oh, and mountains…☺️

HAPPY People are Healthy People

Just sharing on how Happy People Are Healthy People! #NthabiHappy

 Happy people  do healthy  activities.

  1.  Happy  people  care about  who they call “friends”. They make  good choices  about who they spend their time with , and if those people are not  encouraging or   uplifting, they detach.
  2.  Happy  people  enjoy  good company of  those who pour  goodness into their lives.  They seek out mentors and people of faith to  encourage the lower  points of their lives, when they are down or discouraged. They seek out those who  encourage their leadership.
  3.  Happy people  are people who  watch what they eat.  As unpleasant as something might be to eat, if they  enhance your  overall body  weight ,  feeling and  energy,  you  DO IT!.  If you have to  get a partner, you have to   ask for help, you have to  join a group, you   DO IT!
  4.  Happy  people  love to  do  self-care.  They  walk, they  spend time pampering themselves,  they  eat  right,  and not too much  junk(  they might cheat once a week) ,  they  spend money on themselves without feeling  guilty, because they work hard and   love to look in the mirror and see a  good reflection smiling back   at them,)

Take a ride here and see what I am   taking about over on  Facebook!  I have a lot to   say lately  about  HAPPINESS!

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Crazy Confessions.

I have a confession to make: I am a writer, and I haven’t felt like writing much in the last three months or so.

I also find that I am not very consistent.

There are times when my head and thoughts are  so jumbled, I can’t even think straight.

I have a fear of passing a test that I know will.make me successful.

I fear successful opportunities.

This is what’s here, right now.

I know it makes sense not to even dwell on these kinds of things, but I do.

I guess that makes me imperfect.

Am I ok with that? No, I’m not.

Sometimes I wish I didnt have a call towards things that are so freaken  hard to do. ( That’s another confession.)

It demands my attention and the  all is like babies that scream all the time… You don’t find them great company.

On the other hand , I love people  and I love motivating them.

I also love the adrenalin rush I get from a good read of something I wrote.

I love seeing my work in print and hearing others say: “This is just what I needed today, thank you.”

I also love working on teams. Teams of people with like once and like purpose.

People who were once  where I was; but. Ow I can not get them to”  be more, do more see more..”

So… even though I get overwhelmed , stagnant and discouraged, somefimes, I still tend to seek out the good. I maintain that I will keep going.

Despite myself.

I took this picture below because I went a step further.

I opened my eyes, was sleepy as all get out, saw those rays out my window, and  (decided as tired as I was), I was gonna watch this sunrise. and better yet capture it.

Because it made me happy to catch  sunrises.

I decided then, that I would “press in” often and continually make me happy, despite myself.

Because “stepping up” makes things epic as all get out, you know what I mean?by-the-river

So why stop reaching for the stars?

Eventually I’ll catch one.

As big enough as the sunrise I’m chasing.

Selah.

Thanks for listening to my imperfect rants.

Finishing.

I have been in this place lately. I have so much to do and my thoughts have been focused here. On finishing.

I have had a bad habit in the past of not finishing what I start. I have lots of regret around it too, because they are awesome ideas, creative and life-giving.

And so… The ideas have been growing and growing… and they keep just “sitting there staring at me ” from my awesomely full idea bank. Well recently, I decided to stop being so painstakingly perfectionistic, and to  just  get it done. I decided that relasing some of it, is better than none of it, because in the end it all matters, it all assists people in getting to the other side, and it’s not really all that hard to do.
And it’s all to help people become better and kinder to themselves. I decided to trust myself to deliver the message of “goodness and wellness “; and to make room for my craft of writing because it’s purposed to help people get to the next level.

And that’s what I intend to do. Make room and finish. So I’ve been creating “margin” in my life for what I love to do: WRITE. I get up some days at 430, & write. Some days it’s six p.m. & other days it’s  whenever I can. And as I do, I become better at it.

I even have a personal editor added to my repertoire! (Didn’t ask for it, it just became available unto me as a gift for deciding to be intentional.) Because I took the time to say:”Yes, Jennifer, you can, and you will.” And so here I am.. Producing Life. And pouring out truths from within. Because if I do not, then I cancel out my calling. And my calling gives life and helps me to thrive.

Next week I will  be in a conference  the second conference I’ve ever had- and it’s rejuvenating to my spirit as I am anxious to see what will become of it! Here are a few pics from my conference in 2004, and it changed me – as I determined within I really am capable of pulling off great things.

  Syracuse, N. Y.- Women Who Are Able… To Produce… Conference 
I noticed in my pictures this sense of  being “riveted”. Of course it’s not anything I create, but what God creates in  & through me. Sometimes I even surprise myself.

Yet I’m grateful for the gift.

And no longer will I neglect what has been God -given.

Selah.

I’m so brave!

It began with an invitation. I could have said no, and in fact , I did.

I was invited to a planning meeting for one of my dreams to come true. My friend calls and invites me… and  I think about all the change and NEW experiences required and I think: (Wow.. I dunno.) It’s a leap.

But then I thought to myself : “What are you doing!”
You see, FEAR took a back seat, yesterday. It had taken six months of my year last year, as well.

I thought of the leader of this vision, her humility, her joy and her wisdom again , and I just couldn’t rationalize it away. I though about it, jumped mommy car and then showed up for everyone else .. My tribe . They  are the people I dream  of helping every day of my life . But even more so.. Those who are in my future and need new encouragement.

In that moment it didn’t matter we didn’t have a full plan. What mattered was that I was energized living life on purpose and  I was passion-filled. That’s all that mattered.
The conversation lasted that night til we were well into 4 hours and  I left, pumped. I even came home and wrote a vision I had  embedded  in the depths of my soul for years,  and  brought to the surface of my heart in only  a few hours.I came home  from this  meeting last night, and wrote an outline for a program I have been wanting to write for several months.

Life Lesson:

I learned something about myself last night: “I’m so brave!”image