“Making A Surrender Inventory”

“Take your everyday ordinary life – your sleeping, eating, going to work and walking around life and place it as an offering before God.”

chicago

So, I was here today… Making a surrender inventory. I read about  in a book i was reading and here are all the categories, below.

Completing my own surrender inventory was pretty tough. I had to be pretty truthful with myself. I am learning the more transparency we allow in our lives, helps us to grow and change and be OPEN to change. The less transparency we allow, the more we are stagnant.

To “Surrender” means: one who’s will and affections are yielded to the power,control or possession of another’s influence – on demand. I really didn’t like the demand part, but then I thought about it, and reasoned that maybe, just maybe doing something because there is a demand for it, makes it all the more valuable to surrender to. (For instance, without supply – demand doesn’t exist, right?) One cannot give freely what is not REQUIRED. Selah.

I was able to utilize this AWESOME assessment of my life purpose by reading the book: Conversations on Purpose”,  By Katie Brazelton

So here were the categories and I will choose to write ‘something’ about each one here on my blog:

* Social /Relational *Mental
*Physical *Emotional
* Family *Spiritual Growth & Faith
*Church Involvement *Sins /Character Faults
*Vocation/Avocation * Entrepreneurial
* Mission field *Life Purpose/Calling
*Multiple Areas of Life

So here are mine:
I. Social /Relational:( Surrendering to God’s ability to give me acceptable partners;Vulnerability, Lack of Authenticity, Passive Aggressiveness)
Okay, I have spoken about vulnerability on several occasions and I can say this: the fact of surrender gets magnified ten times and looks all the more scary, when we are afraid of being vulnerable, yet the rewards are AWESOME. Your life is enriched, its more full and alive, and you experience much more sincerity and can offer it as well.

II. Mental: (Abilities , Control/Manipulation, Failures, Hope, Dreams, Longings, &Perspective.) Surrendering to perspective takes a WILLINGNESS. I cannot surrender to anything outside of my own perspective unless I am at first willing.

III. Physical : My Body, My Energy Level Safety, Pain, Image.
MY energy level has been a MAJOR challenge for me, especially when I leave from work, and have an entire evening to continue with. If I am exhausted, sometimes I have to MAKE my second wind blow!

IV. Family ( Miscarriage, Motherhood, Intimacy, Spouse, Empty Nest.) Surrendering to my spouse looks like: Yielding. I have found that yielding to anyone, helps them know you are not their enemy, so why waste the energy, anyway?

V. Emotional: All feelings Regret, Self hate, Shame, Joy, Fear.
Surrendering to fear really shows where your strength is. I have had to do this several times, but what was really on the other side was: COURAGE.

VI. Spiritual Growth and Faith : Spiritual Journalism, Forgiveness, Spiritual Disciplines & Practice – Spiritual Disciplines are VERY HARD to do. Yet so rewarding and bring so much RESOLVE when we relent. i tend to spend a lot of discipline here  ad n my soul it just shines, as a result.

VII. Church Involvement:( I know, right, yes we have to submit even unto that! ) I just chose 2 , but Fellowship and A Servant heart – can be challenges to surrender to… * Fellowship – because I am an introvert, being around people sometimes has to be forced. But i have so much fun, I wonder why I ever avoided it!

VIII. Sins and character Faults: Bitterness, Rage and Laziness:( had to get that one in!)
Bitterness – (used to have it, used to have it!) And boy did it eat me up! I was so bitter, I spewed out venom! Naw, I really was mean though, at one point in my life. But it stole my peace so much, I decided it took MUCH MORE ENERGY to hold onto it, than it did to LET IT GO.

IX. Vocation/Avocation: (Boss, Office Politics)

In this area, I have often chosen o work in  fields that reflect my values and my strengths n working with families and  have mostly been pleased.

X. Entrepreneurial/Business Detail: Health Care, Contracts, Fees. Contracts – we often feel like we don’t charge enough, nor do we put it all in there. Surrendering to this process looks like allowing God to establish your worth, first.

XI. Addictions, Compulsions and Obsessions: Food, Drugs, T.V. Sex, Nicotine. Food – oh so weak! But I manage by daily asking God to help me, and not surrendering to what My body wants.

XII. Mission Field: Personal Comfort, Willingness to Serve. Personal comfort – it LOOKS like COMPLACENCY, and I heard tonight that wherever complacency dwells, we are idle in every way.

XIII. Life Purpose & Calling : effort, Preconceived Notions. And preconceived notions can trap you up every time, because you ASSUME you know, but you cause yourself to enter into a bad place; by sabotaging the experience, and sacrificing those things in life that have meaning.

JennRene | December 1, 2012 at 6:19 am |

 So … What Makes YOU Happy?

So .. What Makes YOU Happy?

Hmmm….Happiness.

What makes you happy?

Do you know? Do you take time to  figure out just what that may be?

Well.. to be honest until  was able to go to South Africa for a few weeks and  consider that, and  I really didn’t know, either.

Now this  question may take some self-exploration.

 You know how I found out how to be happy?

1.Choose not to walk in happiness and  discontent.

I began to walk  past my guilt and do the things that I told myself I didn’t deserve over, and over and over again.  I had to turn away negative thoughts with great abandonment.  Understanding that taking responsibility for my own happiness  really cured my loneliness and my self-hatred, made me realize that  I had the capacity to welcome happiness into my life, and I didn’t have to wait on anyone else to do that FOR ME.

 Today, I seek out my own happiness  in some form, every day. Quiet time tends to make me happy. And so I have bouts of quiet time every single day i I can. I try not to be a hermit with it. but it helps me to hear myself think.

  There are some things you have  to CHOOSE to be intentional about FINDING.

2.Decide that happiness will be spontaneous and sometimes without thought, but also choose to plan for it in small increments. 

So one of the things that makes me happy is eating ice cream,  yet   realized that comes with a HUGE consequence  unwanted weight and since milk doesn’t always agree wit the body, it’s just good to have options.  Then  decided that  would begin to invest in things that made me feel better.    One of the things I found that made me feel good was  smoothies and they also made my body feel really energetic! So I began to  decide to  eat as as many smoothies as I could,  a few times  a week.  That’s only the physical part o our lifestyle, though.  When I don’t have my tea sometimes before  bed,  I actually feel  my irritability rising again, and I become restless.   I realized this  not long ago when I realized I had gotten away from the habit.

I noticed after a while my skin began to change,  my  health improved and I just  had more energy overall. I realized that for longevity sake, I really need to make sure I stay in tune with what Mother Nature finds  work with my body’s rhythm and  energy level.

3.Choose to spend time with people who are fun to be around and make you happy.

Happy peeps are just the bomb.com! I love being around folk that make me smile. And chuckle.. And even smile  for days after, with positive memories and leave  really  leave me with impressive thoughts.  Recently I out o a conference with two happy women  and we simply  dwelt in my presence and I in hers, and we  had a really good  time. And i can just call these folk up and they really want to be with me and that’s like so cool. To feel accepted.

I think we all have an innate need to be accepted and that’s what i am going to talk about in an upcoming Kamau Care  meditative series session!

 

  1.  I got this one from a  blogger:” When something goes wrong try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity.”( Lifehacks.com) 

Now this is something I used to do  with regularity. I used to pout and feel sorry for myself all the time.  Then I realized that was manipulation. And that no one trusts people who tend to be manipulative. I honestly had to pray this type of behavior out of my life. After a while I would catch myself then try to turn it around by being giving towards someone , and forgetting about myself for a while.   I found when I did that, God would just come in and remind me He hadn’t forgotten about me, not at all.jen's fav of heavens

 

  1. Decide everyday to commit some thinking  to the things that make you smile.

Some of the smallest things give me joy today.  And they don’t all cost money… Here are a simple few:

 

  • Spending time with my husband.
  • Spending time reading or gaining knowledge.
  • I spend time  taking pics outside.
  • I choose to spend time thinking positive thoughts and encouraging myself.
  •   Decide daily to  talk to God, My Creator just “gets me”. He knows everything I need when  need it, and gives awesome direction and my life and days seem sweeter when I  take the time to form better relationship, with Him..

 

 

They Held Up The Torch For Me.

I dreamt I was being honored in my life for holding up the torch. I was receiving a reward. For being a light when others needed me to be. That’s all. Then, when I began to think about all the women in my life who held up torches for me, I realized I was simply passing on a torch. That I really wasn’t a torch holder, I was just honored to hold it for a little while and had not the women come to me in my life to help me through some of the roughest passages in my life I have ever endured, then I would not have had a chance to be a torch for anyone else.

sundown on tx shoresIsn’t that how life really is, though?

We get to live a little, and then we realize that someone has always been present to help guide us through life? That we really didn’t make it through life on our own, and if we think we did, there was always someone who was sprinkled along the way that deposited “something” in our spirit in order for us to thrive and hold on for a little while longer.
I could say their names, but I am not sure that is as important as their character in those times of need.
So.. Let me tell you what it is about them, that paved the way and gave me LIGHT, when I needed it.

There was a woman who gave me the gift of prayer.
Now, this woman I really wasn’t not aware she prayed over me, but her hands would touch my soul. She would sit and pray and as she did, I wondered why does she just quietly sit and smile like that, like she has so much peace? I was about eight years old, maybe up until I was ten years of age – at least to my knowledge. I would remember her touch, her smell, and her loving-kindness. Her gentleness. No, I really was not aware she was praying for me then, but as I grew, I had revelation that was what she was doing. To this day, when I meet a child or someone who needs pray, I silently touch them and pray, because she lives on in me. She held up a torch for me. I was certain too, that the works I do, her prayers are resounding in them. Selah. Thank you Mother spirit.

Then, there was a woman who gave me the gift of guidance and structure.
Now this woman, was gentle, kind warm and friendly. She had peace. Had happiness that would exude from her persona and light up her face. She was a role model and a leader for me. She showed me how to carry myself. I wanted to be just like her… when I grew up. She knew how to have fun. And at one of the most tumultuous times in my life as a child, she brought me: “room to breathe.” Does she know? Maybe. But maybe she doesn’t realize it fully, because I have never told her as an adult. It is my desire is to call her and let her know, before she leaves this earth. There are some people that we meet in life we just KNOW they are angels. They may really be real people. But they are ever so present – and as this woman was my surrogate mother on several occasions, she was. Did I know what she did was what would hold me and keep me together at the age of eleven and beyond? No… I am not sure I knew then, but I know now. The guidance and the structure helped my esteem to soar and helped me to feel as if I was a little girl again, and could one day be whole. And …be well. I honor her, and as I write, I cry… because she held up a torch for me. Thank you Mother spirit.
So … there’s another woman. She gave me the gift of hope and self acceptance.
Her deposit in my soul – my mind, will and emotions was sort of : effervescent . In the sense that I bubbled up.. and became a more mature woman, by realizing that a weakness, could become a strength. Yes indeed, I was a teenager, but her being placed in my life to help me believe in myself when i felt so self-consumed and lost as a teen, and somewhat angry for my plight in life… she gave me strength to believe I could be more. It softened the anger and resentment in me. And for that, I take on her wings, and now I deposit the same into women’s lives today. Her wings of self acceptance, teach me how to soar when I felt all alone and like no one understands me, I find hope within myself. And as I look within, I resound. I see resilience and hope I have never seen before. I don’t look to any person, or even my husband to provide that, I look at my God-given strength and I rejoice. She held up a torch for me. Thank you Mother spirit.

And so the next woman, gave me the gift of peace.

On her death bed, mind you. She released me. I cannot barely explain. But how does someone give you peace in your soul, before they die? I don’t know, and I can barely fathom it, all i know is, she gave me strength to move on, and have purpose in life, through her peace. She never hardly said a word, as I went to spent time with her , and see her, in that nursing home on Mt Hope Ave, in Rochester, N.Y. – but she bore peace for me. As she rested quietly, in a restful place, and sat quietly with her hands folded on her lap, and I spent time with her and we prepared her to lay to rest, she held up a torch for me. A torch of peace that proclaims to a nation of people how to let go and release and live better, freer, more purposed lives and how to not hold on just because people want you to, but to release and let go, because I DESERVE PEACE. I honor her for that and give her reverence. Thank you, Mother spirit.
Wow, so then there’s woman, who just gave me the gift of her presence.
I delight in her. She is a joy. A very present help in the time of need. Sometimes just having someone present, Is Enough. You can walk through deep waters, storms and crises…with a present sister. Yes you can. This woman’s strength in not necessarily giving me advice, but helping me to have perspective and meaning in one of the darkest times of my life, was simply present. And that was enough. To this day, her presence reminds me to be present for others. To just show up. Selah. That reminds me not to leave my sisters alone. She held up a torch for me. Thank you Mother spirit.
So then there is this person I simply adore. She gave me the gift of honor.
To know how to honor someone… is simply the greatest gift you can give, This person blesses me with a humble spirit, in that she teaches when she is unaware. You can watch her life, and see acceptance, in everyone she meets. She has never turned away a dying soul. Even the ones who wronged her. I love her for that, and that God- fearing woman has taught me more than life could give me… because it’s times when I was enduring rage and anger and ready to give up, that her honor saved my life. To this day, I honor the people God placed in my life and myself, a woman, with dignity, to the fullest degree in order to soar and allow myself to remain, despite the hardship. She held up a torch for me. Yes, thank you mother spirit, indeed. Thank you. Mother spirit.
Okay, one more… (smile)
This woman here, now she is a deep sister. She gives me the gift of praise.

THIS woman… is like the epitome of confidence. Like, I rarely see her in my life… in person, but she is such a resounding spirit of ecstatic purpose! She has such energy, I feel it across the miles and from past experiences, I remember her as if she is near. When she enters a room, like everyone notices not only her, but the energy she emits and her radiance is like a bundle of light that refreshes everyone in the room and helps them to feel enlightened and happier, as well. This woman is refreshment and peace and hope and sometimes just plain ole silliness, but when you leave her presence, you feel rejuvenated. Does she know this? Maybe. Rarely do we know the true effect we have on others, but what I love about her is , she does it with such a grace, and has such a personality, it helps me to be free, being me, as well. I just watch her life.
And as I do, I resound, I feel, I trust, I grow, I see.
I love her so much, indeed. How can you give praise, when life is can be ugly, so grim at times , and so challenging? And still be free? I don’t know, but this woman came to me, during this time and breathed life in me. She saw me in this place, and she reminded me of my need for peace. ( Yes, she’s one of the daughters of peace and and prayer, above…)
Man, I love her… She held up a torch for me. Thank you, Mother spirit.
And so…. I am not finished. There are so many lights… so many… friend torches that held me up too.. I can write on and on .. ( and I will) because these women have been mothers to me.
The other day, I told someone that I would write a book about mothers, but not having been a mother, I would write it. and write about the spirit of motherhood that exists in women who have not necessarily given birth.
I believe I am on the something here… look out for the book, soon… Thank you Lord for this amazing dream.
Selah.

Finishing.

I have been in this place lately. I have so much to do and my thoughts have been focused here. On finishing.

I have had a bad habit in the past of not finishing what I start. I have lots of regret around it too, because they are awesome ideas, creative and life-giving.

And so… The ideas have been growing and growing… and they keep just “sitting there staring at me ” from my awesomely full idea bank. Well recently, I decided to stop being so painstakingly perfectionistic, and to  just  get it done. I decided that relasing some of it, is better than none of it, because in the end it all matters, it all assists people in getting to the other side, and it’s not really all that hard to do.
And it’s all to help people become better and kinder to themselves. I decided to trust myself to deliver the message of “goodness and wellness “; and to make room for my craft of writing because it’s purposed to help people get to the next level.

And that’s what I intend to do. Make room and finish. So I’ve been creating “margin” in my life for what I love to do: WRITE. I get up some days at 430, & write. Some days it’s six p.m. & other days it’s  whenever I can. And as I do, I become better at it.

I even have a personal editor added to my repertoire! (Didn’t ask for it, it just became available unto me as a gift for deciding to be intentional.) Because I took the time to say:”Yes, Jennifer, you can, and you will.” And so here I am.. Producing Life. And pouring out truths from within. Because if I do not, then I cancel out my calling. And my calling gives life and helps me to thrive.

Next week I will  be in a conference  the second conference I’ve ever had- and it’s rejuvenating to my spirit as I am anxious to see what will become of it! Here are a few pics from my conference in 2004, and it changed me – as I determined within I really am capable of pulling off great things.

  Syracuse, N. Y.- Women Who Are Able… To Produce… Conference 
I noticed in my pictures this sense of  being “riveted”. Of course it’s not anything I create, but what God creates in  & through me. Sometimes I even surprise myself.

Yet I’m grateful for the gift.

And no longer will I neglect what has been God -given.

Selah.

Worthiness.

Am I worthy?

How do  embrace my worth? What I base my  worth upon?

I haven’t always been able to  answer this question  confidently. I  began to ask myself these  questions about my worth when  I   was about thirty five years old.  I  didn’t stop until I was about 38 years old and felt some  sense of resolve about it.

I used to base my worth upon  what my ex-husband  thought was  good and acceptable.  Even after I left him. And then, what my girlfriends  considered important, or…  my parents. Even as an adult, I based  my worth upon these people in my life.   I would think whatever anyone important to me thought was  important, it was also important to me, as well.

But I was so wrong.  I matured a bit, and found that  my worth is based more upon things that  God  finds worthy.  God gave me gifts , and one of the was the ability to   trust my instincts.  So…lately, it’s been my ability to discern . I had a very  hard time trusting myself, when  I was  the age of 37.  Then , one day, that all shifted.  and I decided to began to prioritize myself . I made some decisions with my purpose  and intentions in mind and I began to  ask myself what I wanted.

One of the  most fearful decisions in my life, was to move on. To not be in relationship with someone, who I truly cared for .  The only issues I had with this, was that I had to decide  how to  love myself more than I loved him.  I realized once I  loved myself fully,  ( I came to this revelation much later and longer after I had left him), that  loving  me felt really good, and  relationships could not dictate my worth. I would not  and could not control  how someone accepts me; and I actually had to grieve this relationship, even if I was not ready for it to end .  The other relationship… Was similar … I didn’t expect that one to end either , but I was confident it was time to end . I wasn’t grateful for these relationships to come to an end, yet they were purposed to do so.

I was so afraid to make a mistake when I decided  something, I thought if I did, my whole life would disintegrate.  I didn’t trust my own thinking.  And so I began to look at the source of that, to determine where I lost the ability to think for me. I realized my fear– “frozen fear”  discounted my worth. That I could not make decisions for myself unless I  first realized I was worthy of those  decisions.     And that  confident place of  worth had to come from deep down, so I asked  God where –  had I neglected myself  and why? And I began even to look at my family of origin and notice patterns of  family neglect and I prayed very hard for those patterns to leave my life.

My relationships were central to my worth in my past, and the relationships that didn’t allow me the freedom to live and  choose for myself –taught me I needed to make a few personal changes, and challenge myself differently with how I deserved to be treated . Those changes  taught me I needed to  change a few things about my relationships in general.

I’d like to share here those lessons learned :

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

1. Don’t filter a relationship  gone wrong as a rejection of you as an individual.  Don’t view it as a rejection.   You should filter it through the guise of  transparency. h If your esteem and worth isn’t higher, when you leave it because you stood for integrity and your values; then the person you were – may have lost a piece of you, in the process of being a part of it. If confusion and setting of goals and ambition disappeared, perhaps the person in that relationship was not healthy. Hopefully, you will be reminded of the truth and  realize that  you are better off believing the truth, rather than the  lies.

2. Don’t ‘force’ relationships to exist. If they aren’t going well , or end up  abruptly and unexpectedly ending, receive it. Let it go. It may have a lesson of release in it, but you’ll never know what it was, or wasn’t , until you decide to fully let it go and can independently evaluate what the lesson is, to learn. Some intimate relationships are meant to be friendships, some are lessons and others are keepers. The keepers cause you to maintain and increase in self-love. You shouldn’t ‘ t lose self-love when you’re forced to take a look a good, honest, look at yourself.

3. Choices come to us  every day. If we don’t let go , we stifle the growth. And sometimes growth needs to happen  through the conduit of surrender. Without our resistance.  And without our interruption. Selah.

4.  As you release… you will feel awful. Even in the grieving process :  Accept. Grief comes as resolve when you are able to fully surrender. If you don’t surrender, you become stagnant  and sometimes you’ll go back if you resist the release. Grief, however, matures you, immensely , once you get to the acceptance phase. It’s a Teacher. Grief teaches you the blessing of embracing sorrow. And sorrow, once embraced, offers so much clarity.

5. Be angry. Yell, scream release . Then yell… Scream .. & release again. Do this 20 or more times, until you feel less stifled. Even if you must have a silent scream  Silent screams help too. I  recently took a silent scream within, ( I just couldn’t get it out)… and then I walked in the cold air, breathed and took some of the most beautiful pics I’d  ever taken before. Hmmm… (Maybe my silent scream turned into breathable breaths; because I found another release.) Believe me, though I had to breathe to SAVE my life.

6. Prioritize Your Worth . Oh yeah… The worth came once I moved into acceptance. Because I knew that the decisions I made were in a spirit of integrity; and  I knew  I was in full consideration, of  everyone involved  but me – I had to back track and ask myself – Jenn, …Do you deserve this? And most of my answers were a resounding YES. I completely let go… and  I decided I didn’t want to carry their baggage around with me, any more .

Sometimes complex relationship can confuse you into believing that  something is wrong with YOU. If the integrity factor weighs strong and you know all you have to the relationship was out of the goodness of your heart and for the  sake of being your best self, then you’re fine. If you experience oppression in your heart, feel weighted, or its way too painful , then you may need to process and heal from the experience with a counselor mentor or friend Don’t underestimate the power of a healthy heart lending an ear and – listening in to your struggle.

And one more thing… this is a wonderful time to RECEIVE. To just be around good, fun-lovin’ people, every chance you get. It balances off all the unhealthy stuff.

I’m linking up with the #GiveMEGrace Community!

saying YES.m To More.

Saying yes.

I was here today. Trying to do that things again.

You , know, say Yes.

It’s like  hard to say that, you know? To say yes when you don’t know what’s behind the door.

Saying YES.. when  all seems to be going against you…

Saying YES… when  I can barely breathe sometimes, You know?

Saying YES… when other things seem to be calling us to higher heights and deeper depths.

Saying YES… to  God. Yes, not No.

Saying YES…  to  everyone  but Him…

Saying YES because I want to …

Saying YES because I NEED to…

But I keep taking risks, and going  there because I want to be there,  so badly.

Yes.

you know that place where grace is always present.

Where ease feels like my best pajamas…

Where hope  rises.

Where peace  rests and rests some more.

In my Yes-es.

Yeah, I want to be there. To see my own reflection and just be that person each and every time, in every way imaginable.  I just want to be there. Where ‘yes’ is.

I want what’s behind the yes.

So….sometimes I see the reflection and grace of knowing yes can help or hurt me.

I see the beauty of yes … although sometimes it still seems so far away sometimes- the power of one little small word.

When I see the sun’s reflection shining through my window, I want to scream “Yes!”

I keep getting these awesome views.

And I rest in them.

The views that reach for me, too.

A few of my Yes-es…

  • Following my dreams,
  • Writing with passion.
  • Seeking God for heart and His desires.
  • Hoping I am fulfilling my purpose in Him.
  • Not getting too caught up in this life,
  • Knowing and understanding there’s another  LIFE to live…
  • Trusting my intuition.
  • Hoping against hope.
  • Sharing and loving on those who need help.
  • Trusting God more and more..
  • Serving.
  • Looking to fulfill, not to take.
  •  Managing what He’s given me, using it wisely, and sowing it back into humanity and lives that never lived… fully.

I believe in more beautiful rays and hopes, and dreams …. deposited in me everyday.

YES!

A Rose in Bloom.

April 1, and 2nd  at the Hyatt in Tulsa Okla. will be rejuvenating and completely refreshing for your soul. Please come out to our b conference for women with a spiritual reflection as well as a soulful connection.

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Roses are beautiful. We all know this. However what does one know about becoming beautiful in the process it takes to become as beautiful as a rose?

We all have a certain delicacy to be ourselves and it’s important to tune into our delicate nature and be fully aware of what it means to be a women and secure in our emotions, our beliefs , our thoughts and even our social circles.

We have to prioritize those needs because they help us to feel loved, appreciated and accepted; even by ourselves. There’s an emotional balance, if you will – to being complete.

There are times when the beauty  of prioritizing ourselves in this manner comes with a cost, and usually that can be costly to our  lifestyle, our intimate nature and our connections with self and others .

One of the things I have noticed in my study of “becoming beautiful” internally and externally purposed and intentional in my personal life, is that there will sometime be thorns that sway us from developing into that delicate  rose.

Roses have thorns that develop, as well. They begin looking not very dangerous, then open and sort of stay uncovered, for a very good reason. The thorns often protect the rose when it’s growing.

Yet how and why is something so beautiful and delicate often untouchable?

Thorns can be actually be a blessing, it appears  -protecting the rose   from animals eating  and devouring them. Yet if you think about it, even humans are less likely to pick them when there are thorns.

If something will cost me pain, I may try to avoid it at all costs . However maybe that’s the beauty of roses. The unavoidable pain, can perhaps cause a growth and security within, that  teaches us in ways unimaginable. And when you fully take in their beauty,  from simply observing, you are able to appreciate them all the more fully.

That is our hope for you .

This April  2016, we are going to celebrate women and share our greatest insights, come to a greater awareness of the truth  and beauty and blessing of being a woman in all her fullness. Full bloom. And in the process, you will hear  and receive some of the advantages of  ” blooming process  ” that is quite natural, and we often resist.

We hope you will be present for it because it’s a conference like none other. It’s three women speaking truths about life. Spiritual and natural truths about overcoming obstacles that attempt to or prevent us from reaching our dreams. This conference speaks to the do’s and the dont’s, the hesitations and uncomfort, and of course, the unspoken.

I believe this quote by G. Deoudis sums it up:

Roses and thorns are parts of the same plant. Somehow though, some people are concerned mainly about the roses. The rose is not on the plant for more than a week, but the thorns are there forever.
Roses are teaching that the beauty of life will bloom, once you have taught yourself the lessons given by living with the thorns.”

Grigoris Deoudis

Email us for more informations out the conference, below. jennrene.owens@icloud.com

 

 

Ever just wanted to be someone else?

Ever just wanted to be someone else?

I have. I remember when I was in   seventh grade.  I had  models and popular  people plastered all over  the walls in my bedroom like:  Phylicia  Rashaad, A.K.A.  “Claire  Huxtable –  because she was  the ‘ideal black  mother’  &  had it together – back in my day,   And of course, her sister, Debbie Allen, because she  could get down  dancing – and had a popular   show out about colleges students I liked, and  then I liked people  Prince, my favorite star – at the time –  liked- but didn’tSELRES_955ff592-5aaa-470a-9407-b6239f5176eeSELRES_bb9955a1-dbf4-4080-9e90-597f393c1e8bSELRES_658ddae2-f5f8-42b6-951d-248c5a63ed23SELRES_44cc0dcf-f1d6-4c20-8123-ac760e244bd3SELRES_44cc0dcf-f1d6-4c20-8123-ac760e244bd3SELRES_658ddae2-f5f8-42b6-951d-248c5a63ed23SELRES_bb9955a1-dbf4-4080-9e90-597f393c1e8bSELRES_955ff592-5aaa-470a-9407-b6239f5176ee want to be like him. Maybe I liked  people like ., because she was  a bad  woman drummer – or  Apollonia, because she seemed to  be the most interesting of all of Prince’s ladies… Or… I could pretty much do  ‘any model’ from Essence magazine or Ebony, or even  a really cute ‘Jet  Beauty’… all  black magazines in, then – because  it as time to get an “identity” and feel more like me.

But seriously, though… I  really had a complex.

I really didn’t know myself.  I didn’t even really now what color I liked.  And deep down inside I  didn’t know  what my interests were, who I wanted to be one day,, or even why I hug out with who I did.  I was really confused.  But   you could never tell me that.  thought since I had likes and dislikes, and  friend who liked me – and we’d wear matching jeans, and guys liked me too, and my boyfriend was the class president  of the whole Jr. High,  I too, then  –  was popular enough to be someone.  Because of what I owned .

Sometimes its really hard being ourselves.  We get upset  and  often feel like we don’t “measure up” and we don’t feel like we like our bodies, our faces , our clothes, our personalities or  our friendships, our lives fit… and we  try to “be” or look like someone else – just a little. We want  her eyes, or her hair and sometimes we even try to make I look that way… or we  try to get boyfriends who like  Prince and  friends like the women he liked. Because we didn’t know any better. Emulating that life, a little made us feel more important, in a way.

Yet I was chill after that stage of my life. And getting through the men and wondering what they wanted, and trying to please them. I finally lost sight of who i was and found God. God was unconditional. He loved me for me, and just accepted me with all my faults. I just decided to chill and accept God. And I finally grew up. It took time, and a lot of bad mistakes, but I finally made it. And now , I consider my God-identity , before I make major decisions, and I rise.
Yes, I rise.
It feels good inside to know that God is pleased with my decisions because it just feels like another part of me is being affirmed. And I have begun to feel whole. And at peace with being me. I am not people-pleasing, not worrying if I will be accepted, not being uncertain about and second-guessing my every move… I just think about my conscious, and I try to be intentional and purposed in everything I do.

Yeah, it’s  a  conscious  every  day challenge.

Counterbalancing Self-Trust.

I’ve been studying words that have to do with the word CONQUER. Conquer is my word for 2016 Conquering isn’t an easy task; and it requires perseverance, diligence and ” sticktuitiveness”, of you will . However it helps to know exactly why you are taking such a strong stance with something; you believe in, but also to take a stand, believing.

In my book: “Red Sea Situations“, I talk about Your stance” involves:” a way of being placed” everything about your STANCE involves your public opinion and how you choose to “be”; when adversity strikes or when you desire something really badly. I tend to decide how I am going to be”when something hits me .Even if that something is unexpected.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes when things happen I didnt expect I decide at that moment in time – how I will stand. It may even take a few weeks for my mind and soul to catch up with the decision, but I have decided usually in the beginning ‘why’ I shall endure it.

One thing I desire this year is to work on my coaching practice and “actively engage” in helping others reach their personal and professional goals. My counterbalance challenge  stands here, with having an equal weight and force, and equal influence to help me achieve the goals before me.  As I help them, I help myself. That’s what I am thinking . Therefore , I need a PLAN about how I am to accomplish the task before me. I strategize. I predict. I proclaim. As I continue to weigh my options with this word: Counterbalance…. I find The word counterbalance is defined as an intellectual or emotional attitude.

(Whoa! That blew me away: I didn’t even know you could have an emotional attitude!)

And having an emotional attitude implies one ‘taking action or having a mental state.’ About something that is a fact. Something that is true.

And usually if it’s the truth, it’s something that I can definitely  stand upon as a fact and find define reward in, as I walk it out.

So what’s your emotional attitude when tragedy or any other unexpected calamity strikes in your life? Can you turn with the tide? Or do you fall away a the sidelines with every whim and worry?

This except was taken from — my book “Red Sea Situations”.

“We often do not understand God’s higher purpose, so we fight against His will. We struggle and contend within ourselves, and often find ourselves in a more devastating place than we were before because we did not simply yield. I once attempted to explain this to my husband, and he asked: “How do I do that?”

And I responded, “We yield by saying, ‘Lord I surrender. I accept this situation despite my desires, wants, and hopes deferred…Lord I allow your divine intervention to take over and take control in my life… right now.”

It takes almost every ounce of strength you have to trust God when your paradigm is challenged to shift in another direction. The ‘new’ and ‘unexpected’ often causes fear and doubt, and causes one to be leery, perturbed, or to have several reservations.

What if in every situation or new challenge you faced you decided to:

a.) Take stock of the good and the bad surrounding you.

b.) Consider the positive results and the negative results.

c.) Consider what’s most important.

d.) Prioritize what you need most in that moment, not what you want.

e.) Decide how you will stand.

I  guarantee you,  your outlook  will  be   immesely  different. Remember, you MUST make a decision.

Not making a decision IS making a decision.

My other sites: mentormysister.org / More about Jennifer: http://about.me/jenniferowens