Gift of Time

img_0943One of the greatest gifts we have to offer someone is our time.

Our time is not easily defined. It can be our energy, our friendship, our focus, it could be a time to listen to someone’s greatest need.

Time is precious.

I’m a very sentimental person, and everything means something to me. About two weeks go my husband I had a literal reset. we decide to do a “staycation” here in our hometown.

Can I say we really had fun?

It wasn’t  just the food but the water in the pool was amazing. We’re making it a point to pay extra for the indoor pools now . Water is so necessary for de-escalation and rejuvenation when you’re stressed.

After spending two nights away… we came back home and my husband had to make a decision that seemed like the power was in someone else’s power to make. He made the decision after thinking quite clearly and in a less-stressed mentality, and by golly- he figured it out!

Before we actually went on vacation let me tell you …this was the hardest decision to make before and the easiest and most sensible to make after vacation!

Lesson learned: Always make decisions with a clear head and a refreshed mindset.

Prioritize your self-care.

Always.

Things get done.

 

Being Imperfect.i

I kind of like being imperfect.

To be imperfect means to: ” be flawed,  someone  blemished or broken.  Many  tend to think often there is an embarrassment  or shame to being flawed, but it’s not a bad thing at  all.  It shows you have a little  character. And  it makes you  appreciate the work  you need to do on the  “unrefined you”,   & still appreciate it. And   refine  yourself, all the more.

It’s less pressure, you know. You don’t have to worry about what it means to be anyone but to be you.

I like being me , I’m feeling fifty. It took me a minute and I’ll almost be 51 in three months, but it’s all good. So what, it took me nine months to feel it?

I’m here , though.

I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t been very engaged in living. I think I got away from it for a minute because I was stressing and being concerned about life’s pressures. You know those feelings you get when all things in life begin to “press in”, and life screams: “I need you!” And you acquiesce …

Yet i just had to head for ‘any’ escape route possible….in full rebellion.

Well, I may have not been in total rebellion, but I was sorta starting to fade… (he was too)… and then hubs and I did this fun get away… just because.

I kind of ‘ high-jacked ‘him, told him he didn’t have a choice, actually, because he was starting not to be too familiar to me, ya know?

Yeah… you know and then we hit reset. And our bodies  felt the ‘relief’ of  release.

And then… after all that… we were back at it, with greater clarity, accomplishment and focus.

Yep. It worked.☺️

Welcome to Kamau Care!

Welcome to kamaucare!

Kamau care is  a  way of being doing , and reflecting on  your self-awareness and your  ingenuine  strength. Kamau  care has a  Facebook pageclick here!

Here are a few topics:

  • Need A Little  Daily  Motivation?
  • Feeling Undervalued & Need More “Me- Time?
  • Need  a greater Ability to Find FOCUS?
  • Have Difficulty Saying No?
  • Need An Esteem Booster

Memorialize your moments spending a few moments  during your day with my meditative series and  synchronize your life rhythm and reconnect with your life purpose!  

Kamau (which means Silent Warrior is a  name I  chose  for my  self-actualization  branch of  my business to help focus on  your  daily success!!  There was a time in my life where I went through  a very hard period and needed   some motivation.  I didn’t have it, so I would  sort of  ‘create’ it. I am  so excited to  share with  you some of those  gems that  I  have collected over the years to  share here on my SoundCloud Station

What is Kamau Care ? Well, “Kamau” stands for silent warriors. We all can be silent warriors. Women are Warriors in spirit, soul and body. Through my audio-series and presentation on Course Craft you can learn more about what it means to war silently, and how to “possess your soul.” Self -Possession is a concept I use to explain my process when it comes to seeking greater self-awareness and personal strength and resilience. You too, can have this skill by listening, absorbing and learning on my Kamau Care Audio sessions. Currently the series is not for sale but available for your listening pleasure on SoundCloud.

penultimatefullsizerenderBelow are a few introductory links to help assist you with learning more about you!

Welcome to  Kamau care!

Focus

Addressing fear

Introverted Productivity

I am an Introvert.

It wasn’t until I packed up, moved my entire life and homestead from the East Coast to the Midwest that I realized this was true about me. I was getting married, and moved from Maryland to Texas. I was happy, yet overwhelmed. Completely. I was getting married, had to find a new job, and absolutely stressed out because I left my entire family behind, of whom I was at least used to seeing twice a month. It was at that time, my new husband to be, noticed me.

He recognized that I was very stressed and handed a book to me about introverts. The book was “The Introvert Advantage” by Marti Olsen

After reading two chapters. I realized I wasn’t going crazy after all, and that my life was in transition. Yet I still needed to keep a certain momentum, in my life. Over the past seven years I have crafted and shaped a new life for myself, because I gain and preserve my energy completely different than most. I love that I am one who loves to listen to myself think. I have learned the person with the most important things to say, is myself. And if I haven’t heard it first, then it hasn’t really been said.

porch safe house

I am going to share with you the completely creative ways I prevent inertia and maintain my productivity, because it’s total self-care and provides mental productivity – which then preserves my physical, psychological, workplace and spiritual self care, as well.

1. I value my inner voice. I just can’t believe it’s taken several years in order for me to find it. In order to hear it, though I must listen. Cultivating listening takes skill. And it won’t happen unless we make that space in our lives for it.

2. I listen to my soul. I can truly say I appreciate cultivating the skill of maintaining a balanced peaceful and happy state of mind. Let’s face it, mental health care is not something everyone focuses upon, yet something everyone NEEDS. without it, we would lose a lot of things and not all of them are material. Emotional and spiritual care reigns high on my list of priorities because they SUSTAIN my inner being, and not only do others like me, I like myself.

3. Finding myself in nature and nothingness. I find stopping the “rat race” helps me to be more productive. Once I pull away, and become refreshed, then I can regroup and focus better. What sustains me, in those moments are: walks in the park, “quiet”, friendships, prayer and meditation, getting a kiss from a child that does not necessarily belong to me; but is happy to see me when I walk through the door. Simple, sometimes planned, and sometimes spontaneous events that make me smile.

4. Remaining grateful. I have taken to over the last few years to being grateful, because I love noticing the things I wouldn’t necessarily notice unless I was slowing down. How sun feels on my face, for instance, and how citrus calms my mood and help some to be a bit sprightly… noticing how a nice cup of tea soothes me and helps me to relax. Or to notice how much more refreshing it is to have a cup of ta while I read my favorite book on a nice, relaxing chair on my porch. when I place everything in perspective, I see the combined effect of being able to bring several of those instances of warmth and comfort to my soul in one place, and then I recognize I can say to the universe: “thank you.”

5. Intentional celebrations and rewards. Celebrations have been a rewarding tradition in my family. Growing up, I have fond memories of going on simple rides in the country, treating ourselves to ice cream, ‘just because’ as a family, or traveling once every summer to see distant relatives after a long season of work for my parents. Today, rejuvenation looks like the same. I am glad I have carried this tradition and ritual of celebration into my family life and legacy. When I married my husband Tim, rewards became even more important. He believed even if you didn’t have money, you still had to find a way to enjoy the moment. Carpe’ diem, became a regular occurrence, and I was on my way. Some of my best moments imprinted in the fiber of my mind have been when I slowed down and then would rise and be encouraged, because either obtained great resolve in my decision-making; or had a ‘creative jolt’ that was out of this world, and helped launch me to another level of success, in my career. I have a very fond moment of when I made a final decision to get out of an unhealthy, unproductive relationship that wasn’t satisfying for me. It came after going to a bookstore, buying my favorite book, and treating myself to Red Lobster, and eating alone.

I could tell you many more restful, productive moments for me. Yet, this may become a really long article. One of the greatest blessings of productivity may have just been taking the time to find myself and enjoy the moments in between.

And for that, I am grateful.

Gratefulness is Legacy.

I have learned from  my ancestors and their stories.

Below is a photo of my paternal grandmother and her first husband. They weren’t perfect. But they have a story. And after hearing the story over and over again,  you learn about life patterns, how they repeat and  what to uphold in  true honor.

I attended a play this past weekend a tribute to those who represented legacy on Black Wall Street in Tulsa. If you don’t know the legacy of Black Wall Street, (read here) please read it. It’s a legacy of African Americans who had wealth and prosperity in a community in North Tulsa, and lost it all due to envy , hate and racism.

Many would say they didn’t ‘lose it all’, but I beg to differ what “all” feels like -unless you’re present to witness it, yourself. “All” can be the hope in our hearts, the tragedy of loved ones lost, the memories of a painful and depressing past.

I’m certain hopelessness came in many forms, with many questions: Would they find love again? Would their children be alright? What would become of their legacy they intended to leave for generations, now?

I’m certain with my grandparents when they divorced they were pretty hopeless, too. Same questions, and concerns for family, a hope and a future. As a young child I never saw my grandparents together. One of them had already relocated to New York, while another was in Georgia. I had several memories however, of my grandfather still trying to flirt with her and being light with laughter, and trying to have fun with her. The love was still there.

Being resilient in the face of adversity takes a lot of fortitude. A lot of stamina and forthrightness. A determination and strength to rebuild, and start again. Although I didn’t know my grandparents as adults, yet, I know for a fact the seven sons they birthed help us to see a family unit that stands strong as a forthright people. My family members always told stories of a man and woman with dreams and wishes, despite the hardships. They are legacy bearers and my uncles and aunts always held up their virtue. It was common talk, in our family. The courage, the fortitude, the mercy and compassion,.. the love. The spiritual witness and faith, and most of all, the little & the BIG miracles of recovery and healing and hope. And for that I am grateful, and can witness the patterns over the years of teachers, leaders, community men and women who take to the front lines to work with families and uphold those same virtuous ideals.

I’m grateful before the legacy bearers. The ones that have come before. Even if some may have been caught in a fog of indifference, regret or lost dreams, at least they had them.

Yes, there may have been a trail of tears; but we have to understand ‘what virtue’ was left behind as well and what they stood for- recognizing what was ‘meant to be’ and attempt to take forward what they actually stood for. I have a photo of my grandmother on my mantle I see everyday as I get dressed and go to work. She is a reminder of my communal strength and hope for her people. I want to carry on that legacy in my future.

Black Wall Street was built again. Many were committed to seeing it rebuilt and it did come back together. Today, the history is preserved and I live only a few miles from there. In fact, we just opened a business on Black Wall Street in the Greenwood Neighborhood in North Tulsa.

After seeing the Black Wall Street play, and answering a few questions within my heart, I realized that there’s a lot of legacy left behind , but also a lot to reminisce with, and of course, to rebuild. And if I can be a proud part of that rebuilding, then I am grateful to continue that legacy.

Selah.