8. Oh Jesus…50!! #50DaysToFifty

FB489488-B3B2-45C1-99AC-3BE930B95659Yeah so when I was a little girl I really thought fifty was a big deal. I thought 50 year olds were old. When my mom turned fifty, I remember asking her questions like: “So how does it feel?” And she’d say: “Oh, it doesn’t feel much different than a year ago.” I could never see myself as almost or even near fifty, and if I did make it there, I thought it would be a miracle.

And so..
Now I am here.
And all the more WONDERFUL  that I am.
Amazing. I still haven’t figured out if LIFE slows down, or “I” just have slowed down a bit. I think it’s me.
Now I can seem to appreciate all that’s around me and even “value” differently if I want to. I still enjoy helping folk. I thought at some point in my life, that would become less interesting , and I wouldn’t want nor desire to be a social worker/ counselor/ mental health therapist , anymore.
But it didn’t change.
It just became a bit sweeter. And the job more refined. Feels good.
As I was writing this, I realized not everyone feels the same about getting older. Some are depressed, some are really just feeling awful about it, and others are just like : ” Can’t I just be 35 again?” I actually enjoy again. First of all, I can’t do anything to reverse it, and as long as I have a cool partner to hang with, I’m good.
Well, I just noticed that the reason I feel so good about gaining another year, and actually arriving here, is because I don’t take life for granted. I just really, really appreciate my life, my family, and my friends and all the fluff in between. I don’t have a lot of fluff, but it sure feels good to think like I can ‘create’ some fluff’, every now and then.
Here’ what’s wonderful about fifty:
  • The fact I can be myself. With no explanations.
  • The fact that I am ME. Purely Myself, and I like myself. And who I’m becoming.
  • The fact that life at this age, you kind of know what to expect. It doesn’t really get any easier, and it really doesn’t get any harder, either.
  • The fact that I have an empty nest, and have had one most of my life And it’s OK.
  • The fact that life is GOOD. I like keeping it simple, here.
  • The fact I have lived my life in such a way that I  look younger than 50; and  being quite content with that.
  • That all my nieces and nephews have grown up and I get to see what they’ve become.
  • The fact that I can see what miniatures of them look like, now as well.
  • The fact I can do #Netflix&chill …and be OK with just about a few eves a week.  ( Why do we put the words ‘Netflix and chill’, together?” ) (What’s that about?)  

I think my joy for living and helping others truly live and thrive – is what keeps me going. Someone, somewhere is often way worse off than I am, and I think it’s what keeps me going in the field in which I work, the life that I live, I know this. And I’m not doing all that bad, I guess.’

Again,   just so you know…  I  will be  writing  about   my  “fifty days to fifty” series until  I am done.  I’ll be  fifty a  while, so..  stay tuned. 😉

again,

7. #50DaysToFifty: Daily Rejuvenation At Fifty

Daily Rejuvenation At fifty! It’s Possible.

And Quite Necessary, as well.

Well the best thing about fifty, is you can rest and relax and no one has to really tell you to do that.
If are still in that phase of running to get it all done… let me tell you… You may “get it done”, yet “not without a costly expense. ”
I have learned rest and recuperation are some of the most underrated issues there are, in life.
I wish everyone KNEW how spontaneous and how grand they really are, in the scheme of things.

For instance, I really remember going through a hard time a few years ago, when I first moved to Denton Texas. I had just relocated, just found a new job, and was recently married after that first year there. I was DONE. I tried so hard to regulate my life and realized there was no regulation to be made. I would come home so exhausted, I would sleep then wake up and fix dinner very late because I was too exhausted to do it when I got home, then stay up til very late, staring at the ceiling, because I WAS TOO EXHAUSTED TO GO TO SLEEP! That was my evening,.. every evening, for about six months. I was so done with life, and wondered:” Isn’t there more to life and living? When does it all end.” On top of that, I began to ave to contend with someone at work who was counter-attacking everything I said or did, and I was just not happy working anymore where I was working. And that was HUGE… because I thought I had found a pretty good job and been there for a while.

You body sort of reminds you – “its time to shut down. ” It does in a number of ways:
It may be that really hard thing you found hard to swallow last week, and could not find the peace, to safe you life.
It could have been coming back from a disciplined walk with God where he showed you just how ‘kept’ you were in a season you didn’t even realize it. But now, all you want to do is rest.

I remember a time where God rejuvenated me.
I was literally a time of finding grace. It’s so funny, though – the places where we find grace, rarely are we ever looking for it.

Grace-calls-us-to-own-weakness_Paul-David-Tripp.jpg

But DID I find my own strength!
Yes there. In that quote, above.  I found the things I didn’t take time to do we’re not done, and robbing me of my true strength.
I found out my strength was in :

Saying NO. 😉

RESTING….or introvertiing. I would do whatever it took to calm me – (writing in my journal, praying… dumping , getting new perspective) … (but it definitely involved emptying out – not putting anything in me.)

Nature Walking. Too often I’ve found pleasure in simply sun, and fresh air. NAPPING. Nothing like a power nap, iLike milk, it just does a body good.

Leaving work AT WORK.

Having a movie friend. I have one friend who has time once a month to go to the movies. (Do you know how many don’t have time to do the movies? And sometimes, I will even go I’ve found I enjoy independent and vintage films.)

Drinking TEA and finding the first few moments to relax my very being by walking, getting a nature walk in, or just spending time in QUIET.
READING for pleasure.
– And on some days I would just go to straight to my room, lay down and talk to GOD. He always listened. Some days he’d just fill me with peace, other days He’d allow me to find something I lived to do, and couple that with something I needed to do – like ‘music with cooking’… and other days He’d just let me sleep for an hour. I learned moderation in these days and hours – this season of my life. I learned how to MANAGE MY LIFE. When my life felt managed I felt like I was in control of it. When It didn’t feel manged – I began to “Feel like it was controlling ME”. And I didn’t want life to control me. I decided at that time,; Life would NEVER control me. I would CONTROL IT, to the best of my ability and I would hold the reigns. SO far, so good. I didn’t realize I had to lose all control of my life and its ability to sustain me, before I would begin to learn how to keep it managed.

I learned that rest for me, does not look like what rest looks like for everyone else.i

What’s your true strength?

A lot of times it’s just seeking something that makes you happy, and doing it over and over again.

(Hmm…I bet you can do that.,)