6. #50DaysToFifty: Joy At 50. Do Your Hearts Work.

IMG_20170826_222550Ava Duvernay inspires me. As I get older and wiser, I look to women like her, to inspire me. Strong, Powerful Black Woman, who doesn’t forget the skin she’s in. ¬†That has brought to light (on film) what the discrepancies are that exist between Blacks and Whites (in the Netflix movie 13th); and even giving insight as to why those disparities exist.

I’ve been contemplating on My Hearts Work, lately. Then one day on Instagram, Ava spoke to it.

Ava says:¬†“‚Ä™Before I was able to be a full-time filmmaker, I was a weekend warrior. Writing and shooting whenever I could. It’s Saturday. Do your heart’s work.‚Ĩ #onward xo”

When I was young, I ¬†used to want to be a librarian. ¬†My dad was a librarian for over ¬†thirty ¬†years. ¬†When I ¬†was little, my first memories acquainted with work was going to ¬†work with dad, and mom. ¬† I ¬†would ¬†ride with my dad on the Bookmobile, ¬†and ¬† travel to communities ¬† giving out ¬†books to ¬†the elderly, at ¬†nursing homes, and ¬†also ¬†community ¬†centers and ¬†other fun places where kids ¬†hung out. ¬†It was awesome I learned how to ¬†check out ¬†books so well, ¬†I decided I would work at the library for a while, and ¬†it was one of my first jobs! ¬†with mom, ¬†she was a ¬†teacher, so ¬†going ¬†to work with her and ¬†her classroom and on ¬† field trips, was the norm! ¬†It was ¬†exciting… but I knew I didn’t want to be ¬† a ¬†teacher. ¬†I did want to ¬† work with ¬†kids in some ¬†capacity, but I wasn’t sure how. ¬†I ¬†did like seeing them achieve, ¬† ¬†and pouring on the ¬†accolades.

Well… I ¬†didn’t ¬†quite become ¬†the librarian, but in college , ¬†it was always my work study ¬†choice. ¬†ALWAYS. ¬† Not ¬†because it was ¬†easy, it was ¬† quiet. ¬†and I loved ¬† quiet, and I also loved ¬†reading and ¬†researching. ¬†So it was fun. ¬†I ¬† had ¬†many ¬† ¬†libraries where I ¬†rejoiced ¬†in complete ¬† quiet and ¬†did my ¬†job. ¬†Quietly. ¬†I know ¬† — total introvert, right? ¬†Yep.

But mom’s ¬†job ¬†did ¬†sort of ¬† ¬†rub off on me. ¬†I became a ¬†social worker and ¬†guess where my longest running ¬† job was? ¬†In a ¬†elementary ¬†school. ¬†I did some high school in there , too. ¬†Loved working with kids ¬†as a social worker. ¬† They loved me too. ¬†Kids are so unconditional. ¬† They are also very ¬†faithful when you love on them. ¬†Love that about kids. ¬† I ¬†was able to ¬†mark this part of my life as a ¬†legacy ¬†leaver. I wanted to ¬†absolutely ¬† impact kids lives, but I also wanted to ¬†be ¬†one who impacted their parents, all the more. ¬† ¬†And ¬†so…. ¬†I became a counselor to ¬†and for ¬†families. ¬†In the substance abuse and addictions ¬†field. ¬†That’s where I am ¬†now. ¬† I am sort of loving helping moms ¬†to ¬†reconnect with their ¬†children. ¬†After years of neglect. ¬†Helping restore those families. ¬†Not sure if you know ¬† this about me, but I am ¬†a child of ¬†an alcoholic. ¬† Been there. ¬†Done that. ¬† ¬† Up ¬†until the age of eleven. ¬†My ¬†family ¬†went ¬†through some things that were rather challenging. ¬†But ¬†God….

My job…It’s ¬†rather rewarding and its ¬†also very ¬†cathartic. ¬† ¬†Kind of ¬†cleansing. ¬† Purifying work. ¬† Yeah… that’s it. ¬†It helps me feel …”full”. ¬† ¬† I ¬†guess ¬†that’s JOY, ¬†huh? ¬†Awesome. ¬†Guess ¬†I’ve ¬†come full circle. ¬†This kind of ¬†restoration is paramount in making me who ¬† I am, and ¬†who ¬†also I will be ¬†in the future. ¬† I ¬† dont have biological ¬†children, ¬†but I do have step ¬†children who need ¬†restoration. ¬† To a ¬† natural father and ¬† biological one. ¬†Yes, indeed. ¬†And I am ¬†ready ¬†to ¬† work it out.

So yeah..soon I’ll be 50 and I want to be known as a’ legacy leaver’ of ¬†Joy. I want to be one who pursued my dreams and people said the followed and found the same. I will keep dreaming as long as I live. If there where God has inspired me most with my dreams.‚̧¬†He has made the hardest one, come true. And turned it into a forever memory.

Surely , He can do more than this.

I’m in expectation.

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