My Sabbath Rest, Day .

I’ve taken to micro-blogging for the sake of a lack of time, and what you see here is the beginnings of my offering to you –  as  I  share how I  partake of my personal rest.

Self-care used to be hard for me. I have a very busy job and some days I get going and don’t settle at all til the evenings…rather late… Yet this picture here helps me find that and remember it. I try my best to make Sundays a Sabbath. The last few Sundays I have been pretty  good with this goal. I’ve been successful in finding rest. Some try to often make us feel guilty for resting, but no, not I.   For me, Sabbath is a place of resolve. And if I cannot find it at  all…in any given day, then something’s wrong  with my time management and  self-care paradigm. I don’t care who tries to make me feel guilty, I won’t accept it. Even my husband .

(And he’s the one that initially turned me on to Sabbath!  Interesting how  easily we  can  get out  of routine, huh….)

Want to rest with me on Sunday?

Here’s how  I do rest:

  •  I  get a  cup of tea.
  •  I spend time with  a friend that may like to contemplate or  quietly write.
  •   I  go to  a cafe’ and   drink and  journal.
  •  I  spend time if it’s nice outside –   drinking  in the sun.
  •  I  spend  time  near  a  body of water or in nature .
  •  I  read a good book in a  quiet corner.
  •  I   laugh.  I  find a   comedy movie,  a friend  who likes to tell  jokes,  and just  chill.
  •  I  gather  perspective and I may  go to yoga.
  •  I  catch up with a friend or spend time  writing a letter to them.
  •  I  scrapbook.
  •  I have a pajama day.
My noted change has been: No   dreading  with the pre-Monday  blues  – because I  feel rested  On  Monday , now – and ready for the day! Check out my links I post, or my blog posts.. you’ll find rest….😄 Please read this blog by Shelly Miller it’s on time for learning about how to rest. http://redemptionsbeauty.com/sabbath-society/

.
 Keri Wyatt Kent is one of my favorite authors of books called: “rest.” Her blog is here:
http://www.keriwyattkent com is another good Sabbath blog.

 

 

 

Why not join me and rest?
Share every Sunday how you take time to relax in the weekend.
Thanks for reading. And sharing!

Taken in Tulsa, OK.

How To Work “For Free”.

“Scripture: Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galations 6:2
Once upon a time… my first college internship at Howard University,  while working on my Masters at  John Hopkins Hospital. It was my  very first  challenging “crisis as a social worker and I was terrified. I had never felt so inadequate. I  felt as if I couldn’t  be what I needed to be – for my client in the field of social work, but I was excited and  thrilled to be working at John Hopkins, and  challenged myself anyway, do it… I knew I could … with God’s help.
It was my first  job in   the field and in a hospital setting;  and I was in Baltimore, Maryland. My first counseling job that seemed to be too hard to do without worry.
I  was counseling a thirteen year old  parent with twins and her parents. I recall her parents being so angry with her,  I felt as if they couldn’t see that this was such a humongous turning point in her life, it  and the entire situation would either make or break her, and she would from this point on life determine whether she could ask for help freely, from anyone,  decide whether she was loved by family or rejected; and determine whether or not she was worthy of being a good mother. I didn’t want them to judge has age as an major inconvenience, cause I knew God could use this too, for His Glory.
I wanted there, in that moment to  reach out to her desperately and help her soul. ( Her mind, will and emotions.) I could only imagine how bleak her future may have seemed,  based on her outlook a the age of 13.   I guess that’s essentially when I became a “true burden-bearer” at work. I cared so much about her  and had compassion for her situation,  Not knowing what to say to her, or do…I remember at that moment praying and asking God to help me be the best social worker I could ever be, for Him. It’s like at that very moment I decided to tabernacle with God, and make  my life‘s work an altar for him to come in and “alter” my own soul. I allowed my soul to be the place in which he could change me, develop me, shift my priorities, and right there I invited him into my work.  If my life  were to be a work of divine influence and transformation by working with people I wanted his light to shine through me as I helped His people.
As I searched for meaning with the word “alter”  by definition, I  found words like: ” transform,  shift, develop,  or change”.  This indeed was my charge: I had decided  long ago, I was called to do this work of working to change lives. The call to social work, was the type of field I was to influence and help wounded soldiers;  the type of work hat healed emotions and  soothed souls. This was my work. I  even saw I mirrored the life of Jesus:  He was the type of person that did the same, Jesus.  He was the best social worker there ever was, and he implemented His job with the greatest care and  the greatest compassion, and character there ever was.
I learned a humongous lesson, during my early years that lad the foundation for “free work”. Although I received a paycheck, I was living a calling and this work helped set others free. As I notice the  influence and trail I have left behind, I realize I  have been very blessed with a career full of  wonderful options and divine encounters with God through my work and I have learned  a few lessons along the way:
1. That  God’s work, was my work.
I learned early on, I couldn’t do work without God. He needs me, to complete the work, and I needed Him to give it to me. This began a  career of fully offering my life to God, through my work. I believe it has blessed me significantly to finally end up in a place of becoming an entrepreneur and fully loving what I do.
2. That I should never take  anyone for granted that crosses  my path. It may be an opportunity to work for God.
Believing that every opportunity and every  situation  i experience already was determined and sent ahead for me, comforts me. It leaves an imprint of peace upon my life; when I was  discouraged or uncertain about my career and  unable to  be guided clearly.
3. That Compassion that has an arm rest name is: Jesus.
Whenever I feel like I am vulnerable and cannot  figure out where I am going and what God would have me to do, I will  call on Him for help. I have not ceased to do this, and as I do, God manages to preserve me. I have a certain kind of strength need to help me through any challenge, any story and any  valley as it pertain to  my career.
Freedom in your work involves an offering. A Sacrifice. Making a sacrifice for what is really something good and had lots of potential.  And determining that goodness really is… must be in the center of what your work involves.  It as a wonderful grace  flow when you allow God  to  be in the center of it, continually. God is  simply always looking for a sacrifice.  and if we make that altar  or “alter ” our lives, then we have an amazing chance to live it for His glory.
Questions for reflection:
1 .Has God ever prompted you to give more  on your job and turn it over to Him?
2. If you struggle with this decision, have you given that exact challenge unto God before addressing it?
3. Abraham had to sacrifice his own will and his good pleasure, His son –  at a time when he just seemed to  fall apart with the idea of what did not make any sense at all. Is there something in your life that does  not make sense, yet you  determine  in your heart to follow through, because the work and impact for Him,  may be just be that much greater?
Here’s a prayer to center you:
“Father, we  humbly submit our wills to you, as we struggle with  the notion that  we may not know the full essence of what you are offering us when you say, “Feed My Sheep.” If we mumble or complain a bit too loudly,  please forgive us and help us to  surrender all the more.  Help us to realize how we are called to transform, shift, develop,  or change.”
That day I walked into John Hopkins , I didn’t expect a teenager to change my life and my desire and passion for God, but she did.
What aspect of our work are we taking for granted?

I AM ENOUGH BECAUSE I AM AWARE.

2D278918544E4C25A95045BF2C4CD158-1.jpgI decided to write a new series. I was in a  Celebrate Recovery group and  talking about feeling “helpless”. It was a process for me to discuss in group, because as soon as I  spoke about why I tend to feel worried and  procrastinate on some things, I realized that  This vulnerable space I often feel between  not worrying and trusting God  causes me to  feel way too vulnerable.

IMAG1029

I Am Enough Because I Am Aware. 

Aware of what? Yogu may ask.
I am aware of my surroundings, the people I love and even the people I am not all that crazy about. I am aware of where I am going, and often where I am I am aware of the mistakes I have made, and the ones that  I almost made. I am  aware.
Awareness is about being tuned in. Choosing to  listen, tune in and observe. I hear what my soul is saying: My mind will and emotions, and I am  listening to what is right for me.
  1.  What is right, or isn’t right… in my relationships?
  2.  What is right, or isn’t right for me in regard to my emotions?
  3.  What is right or isn’t right, for me  in terms of how I operate in this world?
  4.  Who am I influencing and am I a RESOURCE  to someone else?
  5. 5. Am I really taking a God-honest look and reflection of how I present myself in this world?
Am I responsive to others in my circle?
Do I have a protective circle of adults, friends and  teachers/mentors who  reach out to me, assist me in decision-making and share their lives with me on some level?
Who are these people who help me to stay aware?
( You fill them in: ) 
  1. My Mentors:
  2. My Family Members:
  3. My Friends:
  4. My (Adult) Teachers:
  5. My (Adult)Leaders: (both in my life and in the media or books.)
Please note the names and reasons why these persons are significant in your life, today. How do they aid in helping your progress, grow and  become your best self?
Then ask yourself:
How often do you connect with them?
 
As a  young woman who is tuned in and AWARE :
I realize I must be productive, mature, positive, acquainted and alert .
 
I am productive.
I tell you , this one took a while.  I  used to find it hard to stay productive. always learning, absorbing, seeking knowledge… Something was always in the way of my growth and progress for a while. Then  I had to take ownership and make personal goals about where I wanted to end up.  I actually take the time to read daily the blogs of persons that inspire my passions of photography, and of  writing, and self-awareness .  It has definitely made me more creative. Yes,I study my craft. The things I am in good in.  Communicating,  Perceiving, Writing, and Observing. (And those are just a few.)  I wasn’t even aware I was really doing this, until I had a really major epiphany /downfall  in about 1997. It was more emotional  and spiritual than it was mental. Well, I take that back, it was actually very mental.
I  was  in really made aware and I realized how unimportant TV is, to making me a whole person. I thought: “I am a person who is well-loved,  complete, and  considerate of others’ and their personal growth. And i want to give that back to others. How can I do it?  Because when I was struggling,  and my life had fallen apart, I wanted to help others pick backup the pieces. And so I committed myself greatly to that goal.
 
I am mature.
I don’t waste time  on issues that are petty and  issues that don’t matter. I spend time alert to how I can grow to be a better person and thrive in the skin I am in. I  work my strengths. I challenge myself to take on new projects or learn new  skills that help perfect my  work, my calling and my purpose.
 
I  am positive.  I am  one who tends to notice people, point out what is of interest to me, and I compliment what I see. If I see value in them, I note it. I am embrace what they give me, as well.  When negative energy surrounds me, I choose to remove myself from it, because I am clear it will not help me to continue to grow and evolve, and RISE. I know myself. I am willing to share myself with others, as they treat me with the respect I deserve, and I am familiar with people  who have like-passion and purpose.
 
I am acquainted – with myself and others.
Why is it important to  be familiar  with persons of similar passions, they enhance and direct me  closer to my goals and my purpose in life? Because it’s energizing! Synergetic! I have so much fun being connected to people who  actually love some of the things I love! And we join together for a common purpose, and common goals! It feel absolutely synergistic! Some of the most influential moments in my life have been in the presence of leaders  and deep thinkers who   move me of out complacency and encourage me to be a better person and become more self-actualized.
 
I am alert. I am careful about my relationships and I am careful about who I surround myself with as resource. Relationships can be the most  helpful or the most hurtful aspects of your life that  either help you  to soar, or cause you to become quite defeated. I have learned from enough hurtful relationships, that it’s not worth my time, nor my energy. 
Bottom line:
 Why invest  and waste time in something that doesn’t help me to be better? I have become so much better as a person because of people who were attentive, involved and noticed my strengths and help me build them. Those who helped me to become, and   and invested in me.
 
I am appreciative.  I am aware of when I need to be grateful and practice gracious living. I used to always pray for humility. I believe I used to know that being the babe in the family made me less aware and less conscious of the need to be aware, because everyone took care of me and things for me. I know , that I was a very  hard time in my life, right? (I’m being sarcastic). I was really blessed to have people care for me in ways completely undeserved, but I also know that I have to begin to get over myself. Being so important at a young age, made me take things also for granted, and I needed to grow up. So I had to  learn to be grateful, and  it took a while to learn that. I  began to use prayer as a vehicle to help me.
When I am UNAWARE, here’s what happens: I neglect myself. I  tend to do things that dont help me to grow, nor thrive I tend to not care about anyone, even myself. When I am neglectful, I am  talking too much, and not listening enough. I am full of myself , when I am  neglectful. More “me” than needs to be.☺️ I  tend to not  be very thankful either, when I am full of  myself.
 
Have you ever been more concerned about yourself than what’s really important ?  It’s not just being conceited, either, I tell you… it’s being like a glutton.  Consuming and wanting something so bad you’d do anything to get it. Quite honestly, that may involve being out of control. Immoderate.  I don’t like that feeling of being out of control. It makes you feel small, and insignificant. It makes you feel like you are not very important and… I don’t think we are well-liked  when we lack self-control. With every  act of  pride, a lack of self-control follows.
What self neglect can look like for me:
 
when I am UNAWARE, I don’t take CARE OF ME.
– Not eating healthy – (eating too much junk food)
– Not resting well – (staying up all hours of the night)
– Not spending time with people who appreciate me, or my time. (being with inconsiderate persons)

When I am UNAWARE, I am Negative. 

Just Breathe.

by JennRene

Sometimes in life we tend to get lost in the sauce.. we miss the whole point about why we were given “the breath of life” and why we have it, and how important it is to BREATHE…deeply.

beach playPrime example: Today, I went to a seminar today on bonding and attachment and found myself taking in all the benefits of breathing deeply. I entered the  relaxation and self care session feeling absolutely tired, praying for God to redeem me from the last three hours of the day… and complaining that I hardly had energy left.

Within a few moments… maybe three – (of a really neat deep breathing exercise… ) Oh how energized I was! I couldn’t believe a simple exercise of breathing in and out helped clam me so! Another exercise pointed out how by just being connected and bonded to another human being by a simple touch- sitting back to back or having their hand on my shoulders..simply being connected – caused me to leave the session revived in my spirit.

14-04-16 JenPeace

Taking time to breathe connects us to ourselves and to others. It helps us to notice what we don’t normally notice… it helps us to be encouraged find release, and be re-energized. Forgetting to breathe deeply can cause us to experience less calm, insecurity, less energy, less peace, less warmth. Why rob yourself of the deepest experiences life gives? Of Connection…(Both to yourself, and unto others?

So, have you ever wondered: Why did God give you breath?  Perhaps God gave us breath to help us breathe life into someone else. Are you wasting  the breath God gave you,… or are you renewing it?There’s a  singer Fred Hammond has a song that asks :‘Breathe Unto Me’ – so that His soul can be made right and his spirit whole. If everyone only knew what God’s breathe within them does to bring them life.. they might take time to do it more often. After the exercises today and a few deep breaths in noticing how my life rhythm was impacted and had been interrupted, I realized I needed to do better work at caring for myself. I realized I had not been tending to and asking for my language of love – TOUCH to be nurtured.

(Contrary to one’s thought life…)

It doesn’t have to be another person you love who meets that need nor does it have to be sex. It can be a back massage, a pedicure, a hand massage.) But touch is only one language of love: Acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time.. are a few more…How are you getting your Languages of Love met? Are they being ignored? Replaced with pretentiousness? Neglected?

I ignored those needs for almost ten years of my life and refused to be calmed or comforted to the point I wasn’t even aware was my language of love!  I almost died inside. Don’t let this happen to you. If you are living in isolation, are lonely or neglecting your need to breathe experience touch – then you are not getting the fullness you need out of life to be soothed, bonded and comforted in love.

Make sure you find someone to help  breathe LIFE into your life – or find an activity that makes you smile, energized, makes you feel more special than you ever have. If you aren’t attracting these kind of people into your life, ask God to send them. He will. He wants the breath of life IN YOU to be REVIVED. He wants someone to bring HIS LIFE to life in you. God gave you the power to breathe… USE IT to bless someone else’s life, USE it to bless YOUR life. To honor someone in the SPACE of your being and doing. But DO stop, today and just notice: are you breathing deeply?

Just let God be God. Breathe, Feel. Trust. Be lifted.

Recognize and deeply take in the power to notice God’s calm and rhythm within .

Are YOU Striving?

To Strive means: to exert oneself vigorously; try hard.

I once knew someone who wanted  SO MUCH. but she wasn’t doing much in order to achieve it  had a conversation with her about effort.  And it was a long one.

I told her i used to be just like her. Thinking I would achieve something without putting in the hard work.

(I  am  just warning you.. this post wont make you very happy….)

Here are five reasons why we don’t put IN the HARD WORK:

  1. We are afraid.
  2.  We  feel sorry for ourselves and use self-pity as a  guard.
  3.  We complain or BLAME someone else.
  4.  We  really don’t want it that bad . We are COMPLACENT.
  5.  We  feel like  someone owes us , and we dont move until we  feel we get what we deserve.

drop-of-water-351778_1280
What was the latest success you had in striving?
Was it for exercise or dd you feel impassioned?
Was it for an exam you know you had to pass?
Was it for a relationship that was giving back 100% … OR were they only giving 15 and YOU did the rest?
Have you ever thought about nature  and how it strives to come to birth?
How the earth strives when earthquakes happen… or the wind  works to clear out  debri – and the earth shifts and the mighty winds take form to form tornadic winds?
Just as the earth groans and has growing pains, so also does our lives.
Our lives can be just as tumultuous at times, yet we still have to find a place to rest in peace.

Other meaningful definitions of striving are: to make strenuous efforts toward any goal: to strive for success; to contend in opposition, battle, or any  with conflict; to compete; to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance: to strive against fate;. to rival; ( oh that word sounds familiar!) to vie.

Be BOLD.

Get ahold!
Striving helps bring about life cultivation:

Oneness of mind and spirit. Striving helps to build communities.

Contemplations On Relating: Owning Your Value & Your Worth.

I am what one may say —- a relationship expert.  Of that,  take great pride.  But I haven’t always been here… yea…proud.

I am not perfect, and I  don’t know a whole lot about what a relationship takes to make it work, but I really can appreciate a good one. I know when I have a good one.  Bad relationships are like a crack in the glass. (And since I have one  on my windshield, currently, I thought it might be best share what that’s been like. ) It’s expensive. Costly.  And it gets in the way of your vision your hopes for the future. After a while, you tend t ignore it, but t still has the capacity to cloud your vision. And sometimes our relationships are like that, cause we settle for LESS. A bad relationship can weigh you down and keep you from purposing your life in the right direction.

However, I am one who cares immensely about how  women ( & men…)  are treated in relationships, and I HATE domestic violence for  HUGE reasons. I decided a long time ago, that  placing myself  as a priority, is  MOST important. I once counseled a woman in  Syracuse, NY, who only took about five weeks to fully  determine she didn’t want to be in the relationship and  it was pretty awesome to see her walk away only after a sort time of self-evaluation. I believe anyway can walk away from a relationship if they do the proper self-evaluation and take the time to do the self work,  because it makes them decide to fly. Yet why does it take time to  wake up and realize our worth, and our value and  how do we become so stuck in this place?

 I hope to explore that in  the next few blog posts.

One of the biggest  problems women suffer with  in relationships, is  self-doubt. Women often second guess their intuition.

I know, because  I did this for years. And that was VERY costly,too.

Then one day I decided I would begin to purposely take the time to do  some quiet and meditate, self-evaluate and  do a personal self-study of what it  took to be  honest with myself about my self-confidence.  (Man, was it worth it! ) Along the way I found a really  good book, by Brene Brown. Her speeches on  vulnerability are the best.   (Brene’ Brown vulnerability   (You should check her out.)  She take a  good look at the influence of shame and our inner dialogue that happens with  our own personal self-confidence. It’s crucial to getting past the lies we tell ourselves. Reading her book :The Gifts of Imperfection: Letting Go Of Who You’re Supposed to Be and  Embracing Who  You Are” ,was freeing.

If women  doubt themselves they begin to eventually doubt every action, and it causes them to  not make even ONE decision at all, that can help them. If she doesn’t make a decision at all, she forever remains confused, disillusioned, and  stagnant.

Don’t allow a sour or broken and misguided relationship keep your from achieving your goals Life is too short already! Why limit it even more with excess baggage? Make a conscious choice today to  be intentional about  your destiny, your future,  and OWN your confidence.

OWN IT… and DO THE WORK!

nn

Buzzwords & Beliefs Part 4

My girlfriend Kristi wrote about values and strongly believe we all thrive when we FOLLOW THEM!!!

1 Moment Wiser

jennifer at beach scarf in air Jennifer Owens, self-care coach

Four weeks ago, we began creating an intentional life. Intentionality is when we live in alignment with our core values. This alignment might help us reach goals, but only because it unsticks our gears so we can enjoy the ride. Life becomes more than goals and tasks. It becomes an expression of what we hold dear.

First, we explored our values to identify the ones that, when lived, make us feel true to ourselves. If you’re like me, you’ve refined your original value statements somewhat. Individually, we’ll continue to refine and even switch them out as we grow and our priorities shift.

Next, we challenged the beliefs that limit us or hold us back. We used our own power to determine why we behaved contrary to our values. We questioned the assumptions that were grabbing the wheel. We challenged the logic of our limiting beliefs and…

View original post 702 more words

No More Wounded Soldier

 

One day, while  in the woods, and my soul was  freed.

(The Wounded soldier story; if you’ve never heard it is below. )

I went to an awesome retreat a few months back, maybe ten months ago  and  did some soul work. I came back feeling so invigorated.

It was in the fall. It had begun to get cool in the mornings, and I was  trying to rejuvenate my soul. I was soul-weary. Just tired. The kind of tired you can be when  no one else can understand it, kind of tired.  

During the  retreat, I noticed the weariness of my soul. I didn’t quite know it was weary til I really took the time to pull away and spend time on myself. Alone.

Yet observing Self.

Well, if you read the story below, you will understand the  place where I was. Sometimes, our souls can become weary because of ourselves. We then find ourselves without aid or assistance even we are really in a hard place.

I never want to be there, ever again.

So we were given this exercise on the retreat asking us to nurture and care for our “wounded soldier” by walking out into the woods and comforting her. Taking time to  empathize with her and tell her that she had every right to protect this space inside of her and  to stop fighting fires and putting out other battles but to learn to fight her own battle, and not feel guilty or alone any  more  about doing so. 

To  sympathize and empathize with our need for compassion and herald the battles we have fought, but also  congratulate ourselves for a job well done, can be a quite challenging reach. It takes a lot of COURAGE to even begin to think this way. Yet something about the woods that day, helped me.

As women, we were encouraged to take time to HEAL.

And  the declaration I  made  in the woods, that day  would  build my own fortress of hope and support  for my future,  causing me  to begin to heal even more. It’s so important to  herald my own work before I supported another’s cause and that day, I learned the  importance of this act to preserve my self worth.

And I  was …set free.

Like a bird, I flew that day in the woods.

Since that day, many things have been born. And I am grateful.

So remember….before you decide to be “all in”for another,  decide first what your own cause would be, volunteer…then begin to herald your own cause, fight your own battle, and save yourself.

You’re so worth it.

jen woods photo

Read the “Wounded Soldier” story, below.

     “It was a fierce battle even for a soldier as seasoned as he was. No one knows for sure how the events transpired as they did. When it happened, it was almost over before it began. The soldier has had a lot of time to reflect on the battles leading up to this one. It had taken years of faithful duty for his commander to put him in such a front line position. The soldier had been decorated many times for standing strong against the enemy. He was not one of the ones who had to be coaxed into battle. He had seen first hand the destruction left in the wake of his enemy. He had seen the destroyed lives. He cannot remember the countless times he had talked so many through tough and difficult decisions in their own battles. He had relayed countless messages from his commander to others who were looking to find a place of safety against the onslaught of enemy weapons. He knew the importance of being prepared for battle. He had seen a lot of others who were not well prepared fall in the fight. He had always tried to make sure every skill and weapon was razor sharp. He knew his life and the lives of others depended on it. There had been times when he was amazed that he was still standing when the day of battle had ended. He had encouraged many a young warrior to stand strong and not faint at the fierce attacks of the enemy. There were occasional times when he was allowed to get some much needed rest but usually his life was spent being in a state of alertness and total awareness of everything around him. It was very seldom there was a lull in the enemies attacks. Usually if he wasn’t fighting on his on lines he was helping a brother soldier not be swamped by the enemy. There had been several times when he had to call for reinforcements and there was a special squad his commander kept in store to send to every soldiers aid. This special squad was terrible in their strength. Nothing could stand before them but the brunt of the battle was not given to them. Those were horrible times indeed but he thrilled at the way his commander had taken care of him. He would gladly follow wherever he was commanded to go, without question. I suppose in hind sight he had been able to see the attack coming but it looked like the same kind of battle he had fought so many times before and he wasn’t overly concerned. After all, hind sight is twenty/twenty. There was something different about this day of battle though. He felt tired as if he had went too long without rest and his senses were dulled. For some reason he felt more alone than he ever had before going into battle. He had never felt that way since becoming a soldier. He knew the need to stay in constant contact with his commander. He knew this was going to be a strange day but he just trusted and went into the day of battle as usual. When it actually happened it was over before he realized how strong an attack it was. It was an unexpected and sudden move of the enemy that staggered him. He knew immediately that it was a serious wound but he could do nothing except fall to the ground in a total state of weakness and shock. He remembers seeing the enemy standing over him and laughing a victorious laugh before leaving him in that horrible state of aloneness. He had never felt pain like this in his life. It was a pain that coursed through his heart and very soul. It was unbearable but he knew he had to bear it until help arrived. He thought surely he would die here in this state. He lay there a long time in his weakened condition as other soldiers passed him by. Maybe they were busy. He knew they could see him. They saw how he had been deeply wounded but they just passed him by. Couldn’t they hear his cries for help? Why wouldn’t they stop and help him? He desperately needed help but was far too weak and disorientated by the viciousness of attack and the severity of the wound to keep crying out. He had seen this before and never had understood it. He had seen other soldiers spend a lot of time in the back lines trying to get people to fight who really did not want to get involved in the battle but they passed completely by wounded soldiers they passed in their time on the front line. It was strange that they seemed to care nothing for their own wounded. The wounded soldier lay there for a long while trying to get his thoughts about him. He would not be bitter against those who refused to help him but he knew that if he recovered from his grievous wound; he would try his best not to pass by a fallen brother soldier.