Ever just wanted to be someone else?

Ever just wanted to be someone else?

I have. I remember when I was in   seventh grade.  I had  models and popular  people plastered all over  the walls in my bedroom like:  Phylicia  Rashaad, A.K.A.  “Claire  Huxtable –  because she was  the ‘ideal black  mother’  &  had it together – back in my day,   And of course, her sister, Debbie Allen, because she  could get down  dancing – and had a popular   show out about colleges students I liked, and  then I liked people  Prince, my favorite star – at the time –  liked- but didn’tSELRES_955ff592-5aaa-470a-9407-b6239f5176eeSELRES_bb9955a1-dbf4-4080-9e90-597f393c1e8bSELRES_658ddae2-f5f8-42b6-951d-248c5a63ed23SELRES_44cc0dcf-f1d6-4c20-8123-ac760e244bd3SELRES_44cc0dcf-f1d6-4c20-8123-ac760e244bd3SELRES_658ddae2-f5f8-42b6-951d-248c5a63ed23SELRES_bb9955a1-dbf4-4080-9e90-597f393c1e8bSELRES_955ff592-5aaa-470a-9407-b6239f5176ee want to be like him. Maybe I liked  people like ., because she was  a bad  woman drummer – or  Apollonia, because she seemed to  be the most interesting of all of Prince’s ladies… Or… I could pretty much do  ‘any model’ from Essence magazine or Ebony, or even  a really cute ‘Jet  Beauty’… all  black magazines in, then – because  it as time to get an “identity” and feel more like me.

But seriously, though… I  really had a complex.

I really didn’t know myself.  I didn’t even really now what color I liked.  And deep down inside I  didn’t know  what my interests were, who I wanted to be one day,, or even why I hug out with who I did.  I was really confused.  But   you could never tell me that.  thought since I had likes and dislikes, and  friend who liked me – and we’d wear matching jeans, and guys liked me too, and my boyfriend was the class president  of the whole Jr. High,  I too, then  –  was popular enough to be someone.  Because of what I owned .

Sometimes its really hard being ourselves.  We get upset  and  often feel like we don’t “measure up” and we don’t feel like we like our bodies, our faces , our clothes, our personalities or  our friendships, our lives fit… and we  try to “be” or look like someone else – just a little. We want  her eyes, or her hair and sometimes we even try to make I look that way… or we  try to get boyfriends who like  Prince and  friends like the women he liked. Because we didn’t know any better. Emulating that life, a little made us feel more important, in a way.

Yet I was chill after that stage of my life. And getting through the men and wondering what they wanted, and trying to please them. I finally lost sight of who i was and found God. God was unconditional. He loved me for me, and just accepted me with all my faults. I just decided to chill and accept God. And I finally grew up. It took time, and a lot of bad mistakes, but I finally made it. And now , I consider my God-identity , before I make major decisions, and I rise.
Yes, I rise.
It feels good inside to know that God is pleased with my decisions because it just feels like another part of me is being affirmed. And I have begun to feel whole. And at peace with being me. I am not people-pleasing, not worrying if I will be accepted, not being uncertain about and second-guessing my every move… I just think about my conscious, and I try to be intentional and purposed in everything I do.

Yeah, it’s  a  conscious  every  day challenge.

Counterbalancing Self-Trust.

I’ve been studying words that have to do with the word CONQUER. Conquer is my word for 2016 Conquering isn’t an easy task; and it requires perseverance, diligence and ” sticktuitiveness”, of you will . However it helps to know exactly why you are taking such a strong stance with something; you believe in, but also to take a stand, believing.

In my book: “Red Sea Situations“, I talk about Your stance” involves:” a way of being placed” everything about your STANCE involves your public opinion and how you choose to “be”; when adversity strikes or when you desire something really badly. I tend to decide how I am going to be”when something hits me .Even if that something is unexpected.

I don’t know about you, but sometimes when things happen I didnt expect I decide at that moment in time – how I will stand. It may even take a few weeks for my mind and soul to catch up with the decision, but I have decided usually in the beginning ‘why’ I shall endure it.

One thing I desire this year is to work on my coaching practice and “actively engage” in helping others reach their personal and professional goals. My counterbalance challenge  stands here, with having an equal weight and force, and equal influence to help me achieve the goals before me.  As I help them, I help myself. That’s what I am thinking . Therefore , I need a PLAN about how I am to accomplish the task before me. I strategize. I predict. I proclaim. As I continue to weigh my options with this word: Counterbalance…. I find The word counterbalance is defined as an intellectual or emotional attitude.

(Whoa! That blew me away: I didn’t even know you could have an emotional attitude!)

And having an emotional attitude implies one ‘taking action or having a mental state.’ About something that is a fact. Something that is true.

And usually if it’s the truth, it’s something that I can definitely  stand upon as a fact and find define reward in, as I walk it out.

So what’s your emotional attitude when tragedy or any other unexpected calamity strikes in your life? Can you turn with the tide? Or do you fall away a the sidelines with every whim and worry?

This except was taken from — my book “Red Sea Situations”.

“We often do not understand God’s higher purpose, so we fight against His will. We struggle and contend within ourselves, and often find ourselves in a more devastating place than we were before because we did not simply yield. I once attempted to explain this to my husband, and he asked: “How do I do that?”

And I responded, “We yield by saying, ‘Lord I surrender. I accept this situation despite my desires, wants, and hopes deferred…Lord I allow your divine intervention to take over and take control in my life… right now.”

It takes almost every ounce of strength you have to trust God when your paradigm is challenged to shift in another direction. The ‘new’ and ‘unexpected’ often causes fear and doubt, and causes one to be leery, perturbed, or to have several reservations.

What if in every situation or new challenge you faced you decided to:

a.) Take stock of the good and the bad surrounding you.

b.) Consider the positive results and the negative results.

c.) Consider what’s most important.

d.) Prioritize what you need most in that moment, not what you want.

e.) Decide how you will stand.

I  guarantee you,  your outlook  will  be   immesely  different. Remember, you MUST make a decision.

Not making a decision IS making a decision.

My other sites: mentormysister.org / More about Jennifer: http://about.me/jenniferowens

Leading and Believing.


This week my life shifted . I’ve recently decided with my word for the year: Conquer, I will fly. No more sitting on the back shelf. One of the things I love doing is talking about life circumstances. I decided to conquer, because I have dreams. For the longest, I have wanted to publish a book. It took me six years. But in that six years, I decided that I would immerse myself into the writing world to learn everything I knew. I joined two book clubs, I had writing buddies, I took time to study writing and Googled every question I had about writing and told everyone I knew , I was writing my first book.  It worked !

I knew eventually, I’d wind up somewhere , and doing all of these actions would  helpme to get there! Sometimes you have to just “go in faith ” in order to reach your goals!